The Tortured Poets Department Is Like Reading The Pages of Taylor Swift’s Diary
Written by: Mikaila Storrs
Taylor Swift has not only released what I would consider the album of the year but also surprised the fans with a double album drop for the Tortured Poets Department, adding up to 31 new songs.
After spending some time absorbing the songs, I can confidently say that this is one of Taylor Swift's most vulnerable and heart-wrenching albums to date. It feels like reading through the pages of her diary.
Taylor delves into the emotions of staying in a relationship for so long, trying to make it better, only to realize it's draining the life out of her. Swift openly discusses the heartbreak she experienced after the relationship ended, as well as the media's tendency to scrutinize her relationships and breakups. Additionally, she reflects on a very public situationship that fans and the media didn't support, expressing that she didn't care about their opinions; she just wanted the boy she knew was bad for her. Amidst these themes, there are also love songs that presumably reflect her current relationship.
Across both the standard album and The Anthology, some of the standout tracks to me are “But Daddy I love Him”, “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”, “So Long, London”, “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”, “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”, “How Did it End?”, “Peter” and “The Bolter.”
I believe many Taylor Swift fans were left speechless when they first heard "But Daddy I Love Him." The lyrics, particularly "I'm having his baby, No I'm not, but you should see your faces," dive into the intense scrutiny she faces in her relationships, especially when she's been with partners whom the world and her fans deem unworthy. She addresses being placed on a pedestal and expresses that she doesn't care about others' opinions, willing to risk her reputation for the person she chooses. Swift also touches on feeling like she doesn't meet society's expectations, making her own decisions regardless. One standout lyric for me is "I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'," which humorously tells people to stop meddling in her life.
Taylor Swift has a tradition of placing her most heart-wrenching songs in the fifth spot on her albums, a tradition that continues with "So Long, London." This track delves into the end of her six-year relationship, drawing connections to many songs she had previously written about him. Lines like "Thinkin', 'How much sad did you think I had, Did you think I had in me?'" and "I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use, The spirit was gone, we would never come to," poignantly capture the struggle of holding onto a relationship far longer than she should have. This sentiment is echoed in her song "You're Losing Me," released on a deluxe version of *Midnights*, where she describes the relationship's slow, painful demise, draining her spirit as she tried to hold on.
While much of the album leans towards slower, more emotional tracks, "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart" stands out for its upbeat tempo, though the lyrics remain poignant. The song explores the misconception that she was living her best life on The Eras Tour, despite struggling daily after her breakup. Lines like "He said he'd love me all his life, But that life was too short, Breaking down, I hit the floor, All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, 'More,'" reveal the depth of her inner turmoil. It's easy for outsiders to assume she has it all, yet she's human and experiences heartbreak just like anyone else. Fans expect her to deliver an incredible show every night, but she knows her strength, managing to perform even during her toughest moments.
A particularly cool aspect of this song is the addition of what she would hear in her in-ears on stage mixed with the track. It creates the sensation that these are the thoughts she's grappling with while performing, immersing listeners in her mindset during those moments.
On the Anthology version of the album, "How Did it End?" caught my attention. While I'm not certain if it's a fan favorite, I found it quite enjoyable. In this song, Taylor grapples with understanding how her relationship ended, all while addressing the constant chatter about her love life. Lines like "Come one, come all, It's happenin' again" suggest she feels as though her breakups turn her life into a spectacle for others almost like a circus performer. She describes how she becomes the subject of gossip whenever a relationship ends, with lyrics such as "Guess who we ran into at the shops? Walking in circles like she was lost, Didn't you hear? They called it all off, One gasp and then, How did it end?"
This dual experience of trying to understand the emotional aspect of a breakup while also dealing with public scrutiny and rumors would make it incredibly challenging to process emotions and find closure. Constantly seeing tabloid headlines and speculations about her relationship would only add to the difficulty of moving on.
The theme of Taylor's life being a spectacle and a circus for public consumption continues in "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" Here, she addresses the toll of constant scrutiny in the music industry, claiming that she is no longer the tame and kind person she once was, stating, "The Circus Life Made Me Mean." She confronts the relentless criticism she faces, with people labeling her as wretched and questioning how she still has fans. She metaphorically compares herself to an animal in a circus, with the industry proclaiming, "Don’t worry folks, we took out all her teeth," implying that she's been rendered powerless but is still fighting back.
This song appears to be a response to the intense scrutiny she faced during the re-recordings of her previous albums, suggesting that while many expected her to passively accept the situation, she chose to stand up for herself and protect her life's work.
In my opinion, this album is a masterpiece. It's already breaking records as the most streamed album in one day in Spotify history, and I'm excited to see what else Taylor Swift has in store with this album. I believe it will definitely become a favorite among fans.